My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
