can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
