Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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