After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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