hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do herpes really smell.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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