i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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