I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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