when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
