You made me cry and you don't even care
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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