So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
