9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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