were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
