does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
