There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
