ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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