that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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