He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
