after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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