She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
