do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
