the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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