Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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