So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
