Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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