I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
