The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Enjoy the penises
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
