I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
