ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
