I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
