I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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