are you still at the devil's house?
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
