my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
