gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
