I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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