I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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