very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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