Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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