Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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