nut hugger
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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