if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize