my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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