I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
