I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
