I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
