puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
