I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
