that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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