yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
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All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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