Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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