my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
