cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
