i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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