im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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