i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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