am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I want a musical about memes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize