Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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