Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
