At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
