Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
