I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I could make wine with my vomit
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
