no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize