The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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