Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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