I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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